Crosspoint

Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Trouble a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
(Hosea 2:14-15 NIV)
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There's something about falling in love that I find quite disgusting. Not really disgusting. That's the wrong word. But what is the right word? Unpalatable? Is that a word? But that's not right either. I just don't like it. It's the concept of being completely taken in by another person. The idea that all my thoughts, all my emotions, my time and money and so much more suddenly, uncontrollably are revolving around a person who is not me.
Why should my day be made (or broken) based on the whim of whether or not another person giving me a kiss (or a call or a smile) in the morning? What a waste or neural processes thinking about someone who may or may not be doing the same. Aren't there so many more important things to think about to have so many wasted on one person?
And the money. Courtship (let alone marriage) is not an economically viable proposition. Money is time. I work, and based upon my effort, my time, and other's generosity, I am rewarded for the time and service I perform. Therefore when I spend money on something, I am giving a portion of my spent time. Why should I throw that away on something as peripheral as flowers? Why should I waste even a half hour (or more) on chocolate when I don't even like it and most likely won't eat any of it? I've already determined that going to the movies is a waste of 8 dollars. Why should I spend double that just to drag someone along with me?
Love is ridiculous. It's ludicrous. Like I said... it's disgusting.
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Obviously I'm not in love. It's quite apparent that I haven't been for a long time (if ever). But I remember what it was like. At least, I remember the flames and emotions that at times came close to the real thing. I've fantasized about what it would be like to win back some old flame. Even now as I type this I'm getting that... feeling. It's that wistful, whimsical vibe accompanying the impish grin plastered on my face right now. Even now my mind wanders as I go down roads of thought of what it would be like to win her back. Or rather, to win her for the first time. My mind makes the plans...
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I'm going to allure her. I'll take her out into the wilderness and whisper sweet nothings in her ear. We'll share a glass of wine and I'll turn all those troubles I mentioned above into hope. I'd love to hear her heart as she used to share it back then.
I can understand what Hosea is saying. I can see what God is saying through Hosea. I can understand how he feels...
for me.
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