She doesn't realize that all she has, has come from me. It was I who gave her all the gold and silver she used in worshipping Baal, her god!
(Hosea 2:8 TLB)
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There's a book I haven't read called Thinkin Big. It's a biography of a boxer named James "Quick" Tillis. Tillis had a couple shots at a national title in the early 80's and is probably best known as the only man to go 10 rounds against Mike Tyson in his prime.
Quick Tillis was a country boy from Tulsa who moved to Chicago when he decided to go pro as a boxer. As the story goes, when he first arrived all he had was two suitcases. As he first stepped out to the street, he put the suitcases down for a second as he saw and admired the Sears Tower. After taking it, and the city, in for a second he said to himself, "I'm going to conquer Chicago." He turned around to pick his suitcases back up, but they were gone.
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Sometimes I wish I had the genes to have been a world class athlete. I wish I had the mind of someone like Ben Franklin or Tom Edison. I wish I had the writing ability of someone like JRR Tolkien or John Grisham. I wish I could act like Tom Hanks or Mel Gibson. I wouldn't even mind having the business acumen of a Bill Gates or a Sam Walton. But it's just not me. I'll never perform on any stage at that caliber.
But I do have giftings. I'm a pretty fair public speaker. I can make friends quickly and easily. I can teach. I could go on, but I'm not here to brag. The thing is, it's so easy to get so familiar with my giftings that I forget where they come from. I begin to abuse them.
I remember working at MCI for a couple months before my integrity forced me to get a different job. I was good. I could use abilities as an extrovert and a persuasive speaker to talk people into whatever it was I'm selling. The problem is, every time I hooked someone I would be thinking, "poor sucker". They're buying a product far worse than almost anything on the market. I was abusing my abilities.
Just call me Gomer. I was taking the things God has given me and I was making my own little Baal. It happens. It happens when I start taking personal ownership over God's blessings. I forget that my grain, wine and oil are poured out from God's hand. I take his gold and silver and turn it into my idol.
My pride is such an ugly thing. God, when it pokes it's head out, please, take my suitcases away.
Amen. Take my pride too, God. It is so easy to take for granted those things that God has placed in my life, and from that viewpoint it's only a small shift right into Nebuchadnezzer's thinking in Daniel 4:30 -
As he looked out across the city, he said, Look at this great city of Babylon! By my own mighty power, I have built this beautiful city as my royal residence to display my majestic splendor. 31 While these words were still in his mouth, a voice called down from heaven, O King Nebuchadnezzar, this message is for you! You are no longer ruler of this kingdom. 32 You will be driven from human society. You will live in the fields with the wild animals, and you will eat grass like a cow. Seven periods of time will pass while you live this way, until you learn that the Most High rules over the kingdoms of the world and gives them to anyone he chooses. 33 That same hour the judgment was fulfilled, and Nebuchadnezzar was driven from human society. He ate grass like a cow, and he was drenched with the dew of heaven. He lived this way until his hair was as long as eagles feathers and his nails were like birds claws.
Aren't you glad God doesn't literally punish us like He did Nebuchadnezzar? Sometimes I imagine I know how he felt though, and those "low" moments help remind me of Who really has it all, and has given me everything. God, please remind us every day of Your greatness and love for us, that You give us what we have, and that makes it and us Yours.
You should read a biography about Rocky Marciano. He's a famous boxer from my home town of Brockton MA.
But yeah, I know what you mean. I had trouble even selling candy bars for school fundraisers. I would see all the fat kids buying them up and I'd feel like I was part of the problem.
