Long ago when I came upon Israel, it was like finding grapes out in the desert. When I found your ancestors, it was like finding a fig tree bearing fruit for the first time. But when they arrived at Baal-peor, that pagan shrine, they took to sin like a pig to filth, wallowing in the mud with their newfound friends.
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A woman once said, "My husband is leaving me." When asked if it was for a younger woman she replied, "Of course. Anyone his own age would have seen right through him."
America, as a society, believes in polygamy. I can think, off the top of my head, of at least a half dozen couples I know that are now on their second, or third, spouse (or more). The difference between America and many other polygamist societies is that we are not mature and responsible enough to at least maintain the responsibility of the old spouse.
In a Muslim, or Mormon, society, when a man gets a new spouse, they at least continue with the financial and moral responsibility of taking care of their first wife. Western men cannot be bothered and so they simply divorce them.
I believe that all the talk that has been going on over the last few years from Christian conservatives about how the growing acceptance of homosexual marriages is tearing apart the fabric of the institution is rather quite hypocritical. While I am personally against homosexual marriages (but not civil unions) I believe that there are two, far greater concerns, regarding this issue that we should be spending far more time with. The first I have already addressed above, the second is the concept of cohabitation. Both, in my opinion are different aspects of the same epidemic.
The fact is, we Americans are lazy and irresponsible. The idea, "If it feels good, do it" has become so ingrained in our culture that we are no longer willing to commit to the effort, or take the responsibility to keep fanning the flame of the love we once had for our spouse. When we first fell in love with them, "It was like finding grapes in the desert". They brought life, and joy, and something beautiful into what, by comparison was a dry and dying life. Now, we are seeking to find someone new to "wallow in the mud" with rather than taking the time to weed and tend that garden.
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For some reason my mind first went to the issue of marriage as I read this, but in reality the same truth covers so many other aspects of our life as well. If I were to take a survey of what everyone's favorite movie is, 90% or more would name something that has come out in the past year or so. If I were to ask their favorite song, as many or more would name something that is currently playing on the top 40 charts. Everyone is always looking for the new and improved, but the fact is the new is seldom truly an improvement. Especially on a spiritual level.
So rather than allowing ourselves to be driven by a commercialized society that is always trying to peddle the "newest" and the "latest", why don't we take some time with the classics? Rather than seeking our emotional or sexual fulfillment with someone new (be they real or virtual), why don't we take the responsibility and make the commitment to stay faithful to our first love? And instead of running from one new thing to another to fill the void inside of us, why don't we surrender our hearts back to God?
Well, since I'm a feminist, I want to make sure that we establish that women are just as much to blame as men are! In polls, the amount of women that admit to cheating on their husbands is almost the same as the amount of men that admit to cheating on their wives.
I think that some people mistake infatuation for love. They don't know each other long enough, they get married, and then they realize that things aren't all perfect. They're unwilling to work on it. They have impulse control problems and they decide they'd be better off with someone else. You're right, marriage is exactly like a garden, you really do need to tend to it.
I'd like to say that I was using "men" in a general way to refer to all mankind but that wouldn't quite be true. First because I know of no matriarchial polygamistic society and also because, being a man myself, it is easier to blame "my own" rather than accuse "the other". But you are right, both are to blame.
I got this off of the net, because you made me wonder if polyandry (women with multiple husbands) has occured in societies (I never heard of it either).
I found: "Polyandry has occurred in Tibet, the Canadian Arctic, Zanskar, Nepal, Ladakh, the Jaunsar region in Uttarakhand, India, Toda of South India,the Nymba, Nishi and Sri Lanka. It is also encountered in some regions of Mongolia, China (especially Yunnan- the Mosuo people), and in some Subsaharan African and American indigenous communities . The Guanches, the first known inhabitants of the Canary Islands, also practiced it until their disappearance. In other societies, there are people who live in de facto polyandrous arrangements that are not recognized by the law"
im in total agreement with u! people are always seeking for the latest, the newest, the best but does the latest or newest always equates to the best?! why should the old be replaced when they are already good enough for us to begin with?
well, fair enough if we argue in the aspect of technology, in this capitalist society; that it is inevitable they become obsolete over time. but. there's absolutely no justifications if we speak in terms of love and emotions and commitments!
Why are we always looking out for the next "better" man/woman to come along? what defines and constitues "better"? who to judge? Maybe, it is not the person we are seeking for afterall, it is the desire to feel the sweetness, the pleasure, the thrill and excitement that we once felt, then lost with the current love we have. and u are right. if that is the void we want to fill, we should be giving our hearts to God instead of searching someone new to fill up that empty space.
all of us should realise by now that the search for the "better" love is an endless one for we will never acknowledge that we already have the best! We spend so much time and energy on the constant lookout for the next "better" person to love when instead we should be perfecting our existing love! what/who we already have will be the best there is if we want and allow it to be! Just like how we do not search for a "better" God to serve and worship, because we allow and accept our God to be the truest, the best, and the only one there is.
aww thanks you're too kind! lol Well, what you wrote stirred the emotions in me and so i just wrote what i felt. :) your blogs are very stimulating, i love reading 'em...they're great! :D
I've been married once, to my first love. We've been married for sixteen years and I can say that he still rocks my socks. It's not easy, and it takes a lot of self-hypnosis and brainwashing. As in..."I love my husband. I married him because he is God's best for me. I have no doubt that he is the man with whom I am supposed to spend my life. I will not kill him for what he has just done." (tee hee)
Seriously, though, God is doing wonderful things in my life, and it's all because I learned a simple lesson--to love my husband and family no matter what distractions, frustrations, or problems come our way. It doesn't come easy for someone like me, but it is worth the effort. Try it, people. You might be surprised to learn that your first spouse is really pretty darn cool! (smile)
Well, you have the right to that opinion. I personally believe all marraiges should be, from a legal standpoint, civil unions and that the religious aspect should be seperate and optional. I know a few European countries have gone that route.
That makes a lot of sense to me! Because I think to myself, "ok, your religion is against homosexuality, fine that's your religion. But the law isn't forcing churches to marry gays, so what's the problem" To each their own, right? I don't think religion should have a place within the law (think: separation of church and state). I know that other people disagree with that, but people are entitled to have their own opinions. I worry that when you start mixing religion and the law, you end up with countries like Afghanistan. Frankly, the bible has a lot of laws about women in it that I wouldn't want an extremist drafting into our law codes.
seriously. there is a really great clip from the tv show west wing where one of the white house staff is arguing with the president about gay marriage or something, well she says that gays are an abomination and the bible says so, he quotes the scripture, and he goes on to quote where it says that people working on the sabbath should be stoned and that he can sell his daughter or something like that. its just disgusting how many christian people think that god hates gay people and how many christians are homophobes. its science that peoples brains think and act differently, and how can you help if you are attracted to the opposite sex or same sex?
If one makes a commitment, he/she is obliged, in the eyes of God, to fulfill it.
My boyfriend was married before. He has a 10 year old son. He was in the military for 16 years. And he is 41 years old. BUT, he is starting a new life. He is going to college full time to get a degree in psychology, he is acquiring new friends, and he has, once again, commited himself to making his love the happiest woman on earth.
Yes, I am more than happy and making me half his age doesn't mean that I cannot see his flaws. We have been dating for over a year and we are so close, so open with each other - it's like we are married. The wedding won't be for another 3 years at least, until we both get our BA's, but that doesn't mean that we cannot grow together as a couple. We have come so far, I cannot even begin to tell you, and it is because we look upon each other as joined by God.
Just as any other couple, we have problems. Yet, we both understand that there isn't one that cannot be resolved, whether it will take an hour, a day, a week, or any time period. If you truly love someone, you will do anything to stay with them and to return their love. That is the power of Godly love. And it makes the heart leap with joy, inspiration, and courage.
