I would have to say that one of the greatest movies of all time for me is Silence of the Lambs. I don't know why, but for some reason I never think of that when I am listing off my favorite movies. I'll think of the trilogies I like so much: Star Wars (4-6), The Matrix, The Godfather, LotR. Those will come immediately to mind, but if I were honest with myself I would have to say that Silence, if not quite at that level, has got to be pretty close to it.
One of the main reasons I like the movie so much is because Hannibal is such an intriguing personality to me. I think, for the same reasons I admire Lex Luther. It is not so much that I admire either of them as it is that they fascinate me. Both are incredibly intelligent. They are cultured. Neither of them is physically ugly or has any deformities. (Hey, bald is beautiful) While Hannibal might not have been the billionaire Lex was, neither of them had any want for money. Yet both have taken these worldly assets and used them towards a purpose of pure evil.
So today I watched Hannibal Rising and it was, quite frankly, disturbing. It begins with a young family living in a castle that is caught between the Germans and the Russians during World War II. The family retreats to a hunting lodge to wait out a particularly dangerous moment. During a battle, both parents are killed in the crossfire and leave a 5 or 6 year old Hannibal to care for his younger sister. Some German soldiers who have turned bandit also try to hide out in the same lodge with the plausible alibi that they are there to protect the two children they have found orphaned. Time and difficulties lead to desperation and to prevent starvation these bandits kill and eat Hannibal's little sister.
After these German bandits retreat from the advancing Russian army Hannibal winds up living back at his castle that has been converted into a Soviet orphanage for boys. Every night he sleeps, and every night he remembers. In time he escapes from there and runs to France where he expects to meet up with a young widowed Japanese aunt who is the only family he has left. There things begin to look up but still his nightmares of that fateful incident haunt him. Everything he does becomes wrapped around revenge and ultimately he hunts down and murders all of the surviving bandits.
In the end when he has the last one laying helpless on the ground his aunt, who herself has every reason to be bitter since her entire family had been killed at Hiroshima, begs him to forgive the man and turn him over to the police. Hannibal says that he cannot and then says to her, "I love you." The lady looks into his eyes and says, "There is nothing left in you to love." And then she walks away. For a moment Hannibal watches her leave and then turns back and begins eating the face off of his not yet dead victim. Yes, you did read that last sentence correctly.
My question is, what on earth could cause a man to drop to such a level of depravity? How could anyone sink so low? I think the answer to that question was already presented above. Every night he sleeps, and every night he remembers. There is a very important maxim that is crucial to a successful, healthy, godly life but we so often overlook. The writer of Hebrews says, "See that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." I like the way Paul puts it better. "Do not let the sun go down on your wrath. Do not give the devil a foothold."
Reading this back in junior high I'd made a promise to myself never to go to sleep if I was angry. It is a known fact that the thing you think of just before bed and the first thing you think of in the morning are the easiest things for you to remember. I have done my best to not harbor anger. Just off the top of my head I can think of four different nights where I did not sleep because I was not able to work through the issue that was causing me anger or frustration. There have been countless others when I would be up for hours. Has the lack of sleep been worth it. Yes. Absolutely, unquestionably yes.
When you have unresolved anger, it turns to bitterness. Bitterness, like a root underground, will grow and spread crowding out everything else in your life. It consumes you. And by the time it shows its ugly face, it might already be said, "There is nothing in you to love." So search your heart. Is there bitterness there? Ask our Heavenly Gardner to pull up those roots even if it means breaking up the very ground we stand on. And are you angry? Don't sleep. Whatever it takes, however long it takes, stay awake until you have worked through the issue in your heart. And then, when you have done so, you may sleep in peace.
but i think you shouldn't do anything at all when you're angry. Cooking, driving, talking to people, working. All these can't be done under the influence of that all consuming monster.
Yes, my priest has often told me not to go sleep with anger. I hate it when my boyfriend and I have a mood swing - we don't really argue - and we part without resolving it. The next day never begins well if one carries the troubles of the previous day with him/her. So, I will agree with your blog. It may be a hard thing to do - go to sleep without anger - but believe me, it is well worth it!
