In Barnes and Noble I was walking from my chair to the restroom when an image pulled at my eye. I am ashamed to admit that I glanced to the right before my will pulled my face to the left and I continued walking along. At the door to the restroom this verse came to my mind:
"And though you may desire to control your husband, he will be your master."
I stopped. Where did that verse come from. Well, I know its in Genesis 3. I mean, why did I just think of it? Since this whole time the book I had been reading was at the forefront of my mind, I only realized that I had done what I wrote about above. Curious, I pulled out my notebook and went back to the image that had pulled my eye. Among the large row of magazines there is a section called "Men's Interest". In that section there is a magazine titled FHM that has a picture of a blonde wearing skimpy lingerie with her hands on hips that are thrust to one side. Right next to this there is another magazine titled Maxim showing another blonde wearing a skin tight velvet dress that leaves one shoulder and an abundance of cleavage exposed. Below these there is Vanity Fair with Madonna on the cover wearing "Madonna-esque" clothes. I could go on. GQ, King, Smooth, Bizarre, High Times, Garage, Easy Rider, and the list goes on. Each one is using images of lust to snag the eye of the unwary man. If the truth were not so sad I would have chuckled when I read the caption surrounding a suggestively nude woman on Esquire: "We shot this image to catch your eye so you will pick up this issue and immerse yourself in the most gripping story you will read this year." I just had to... It's a human interest story about the war in Iraq.
Walking east past the "Sports", "Art/Entertainment", and "Craft/Hobbies" sections I came to another titled "Women's Interest". One thing that was the same was that most of the magazines still showed women in skimpy clothing. Two things were different. 1)The black, silver, and red predominance of the mens magazines was replaced with the pastel greens and yellows and an abundance of pink in the womens. 2) A majority of the mens magazines were about things (gadgets), events, or "doing things for me". The womans magazines were mostly about things (clothes), celebrities, and "doing things for him". Lets get a sampling:
Cosmopolitan - "Little Touches He'll Love You More For"
Seventeen - "The New Hook Up Rules You Need To Know"
Glamour - "9 Things That Make A Guy Worship You In Bed"
Redbook - "Now That's Sexy: Men Reveal What Drives Them Wild"
Lucky - "How To Get The Sexiest Glow"
Teen - "Guy Guide: Everything You Want To Know"
It deserves repeating. "And though you may desire to control your husband, he will be your master."
The Marketing Machine of our decadent society has found for itself a double win. An easy way to control a man is lust. Tap that and his income is yours. But what controls a woman? Her desire to control a man. Show her how to tap a man's lust and her income is yours. Not convinced? Lets go next door to Walmart. Take a right with me as soon as you enter and you will find yourself in the Cosmetics section. It is so exclusively a female area that I feel awkward just standing in there as I write. But look:
Lip Liner - $5.97
Lipstick - $8.47
Lip Gloss - $6.97
Liquid Foundation - $11.47
Blush - $8.97
Concealer - $7.67
Eye Shadow - $5.97
Powder - $11.56
Mascara - $7.67
Moisturizing Lotion - $10.37
Foot Cream - $2.83
Nail Polish - $3.74
Nail Polish Remover - $1.47
Resurfacing Gel - $9.98
Nail Clippers - $1.78
Fake Nails - $5.87
Cosmetic Sponge - $1.22
Train Case - $8.92
Skin Intervention - $22.68
Anti-wrinkle cream - $16.96
Exfoliator - $12.44
Pore Toner - $3.78
Body Scrub - $5.97
Hair Removal Kit - $5.97
Bath Beads - $1.97
Body Powder - $3.44
Body Mist - $3.97
Body Scrub - $3.57
And then there's the perfumes that at a glance appear to range from $24-$47.
While I'm writing these numbers down one of my sisters called. After she bounced some ideas off me for a devotional she would be leading, I asked her two questions. 1)How much money do you spend on makeup and 2)How long does it take you each day to apply it?
At first she assured me that she was the wrong person to be asking. So I asked her how long the "average girl" would take. After very accurately rattling off from the top of her head the prices of some of the stuff above she did the math, low for the prices she quoted, and said about thirty dollars every couple months. (Apparently everything is to be replaced every couple months. Perhaps I should throw away that same bottle of shampoo I've had for over four years.) Also, she said the "average girl" spends thirty minutes a day on hair and makeup not including shower time.
Me - But isn't that where they shave their legs
Her - Yah
Me - So shouldn't I include that?
Her - Gross, no!
As we ended the call I repeated back the numbers as a confirmation. A woman walking by shook her head and muttered, "I'm jealous." I'm not jealous. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for buying into the image you feel you need to project. I'm sorry for every time a magazine rack has turned my head. I'm sorry for the times I've clicked on that website. I'm sorry for the times my eyes have wandered down that low cut neck. I'm sorry for the way a tattoo on your lower back pulls my eyes like a magnet. I'm sorry that my lust has fed a machine that has made literal slaves out of millions and emotional slaves out of billions. I'm sorry that I have not done more to free us all. I'm sorry.
wow man, this post was just gripping. Especially as I read the apology letter, I almost started to cry. Everything here makes so much stuff. and what's funny, I was thinking something similar to this today. WOW!!
According to Jesus, we should all gouge our eyes out, cause every man's eyes cause have caused them to sin. Temptation has never been so blatent and obvious as it is today. Even Eunichs would struggle in this society!
And that's Wal-Mart makeup. Then you have the brands like Mary Kay, Avon, Clinique etc. I have a friend who is a National Mary Kay Consultant makes thousands a month b/c of women's desire to look beautiful. She said no matter what, women will spend money on make up and skin care. And it's true. I've done it. I've always wondered why I pay so much money for something to apply something to my face adn then I have to pay equally as much to remove it.
I could go on and on... this is a touchy subject for me. I wish all guys had your view.
Unfortunately, girls dont make it easy for guys though. When I was in youth ministry I was constantly talkign to my girls about their appearance. I have a book called "Sexy Girls: How hot is too hot?" It was written by a man and woman so it gave both view points. Many girls dont realize how incredibly hard it is for guys when they dress the way they do. It's so frustrating to me when I see these teenagers dressed like they do. It angers me when I see parents dressing their toddlers and small children like that b/c it's "cute. " What message does that send across to that child? Ugh...anyway...pet peeve. :) Thanks for your post. I appreciate it!
This was an amazing post! It made me think of David and Bathsheeba (spelling? i'm barely awake). Ok, David was a man after God's own heart. . . yet he saw Bathsheeba taking a bath and was hooked. We men have problems, its called woman. . . .ok let me explain. God created women so beautifully and wonderfully and to a point where we as men can't stop being attracted to them. David, a man after God's heart, was enticed by the devil to stare at Bathsheeba and eventually have her hubby killed etc. . .
My point is this; God created man, man was created to be a friend of God. . . however man was lonely so God created woman for man. The devil will use Gods gift to man (woman) to try and make man sin. The news media and sales execs, the clothing and fashion and just about everything uses sex to sell. . . Its the truth, but I wish it werent so. . . we as men need to focus on God more. . . you might check out my post called "for christian women" its an interesting view on things.
It's funny. Some of my favorite ministries have been saying this for years, but it's neat to hear an ordinary human male notice it, too. Yes, women take an inordinate amount of time getting ready to be ogled by men. (grin) I don't wear make-up since I'm allergic and have had two operations for skin lesions caused by the stuff. Yet, I find that even I often give in to the hype in some way or other. (And I'm just about the least vain person I know...at least on the outside. )
Girls won't tell you that high heels hurt, and that by age 60, our feet will likely be deformed for wearing them. They won't tell you that those cool Victoria's Secret bras can cause cysts that can lead to cancer. They won't mention that girls often deliberately avoid learning about "men talk" to avoid seeming masculine. When you add them up, we have some real issues. (grin)
Here's another issue no other girl will mention. In our skin-tight society, our clothes don't always fit from one day to another. So we have to try on four or five outfits, making sure this or that angle doesn't give away more than we want it to about our imperfections. Even when we dress quite modestly, this is an issue. The waist of this pair of jeans can squeeze and make us look like sausages on Monday when we looked great in them last Friday. (ugh)
Thanks for the apology, and don't be surprised if you find it suddenly a greater challenge than before to keep your mind right. Admitting my faults often proves to be a "jinx." Pray through it, though, and you'll be stronger in the end. (Okay, misnomer ... does it ever end?)
I'm sorry for buying into the image you feel you need to project. I'm sorry for every time a magazine rack has turned my head. I'm sorry for the times I've clicked on that website. I'm sorry for the times my eyes have wandered down that low cut neck. I'm sorry for the way a tattoo on your lower back pulls my eyes like a magnet. I'm sorry that my lust has fed a machine that has made literal slaves out of millions and emotional slaves out of billions. I'm sorry that I have not done more to free us all. I'm sorry.
"I came to another titled "Women's Interest". One thing that was the same was that most of the magazines still showed women in skimpy clothing. "
Funny, but wouldn't you think that, since the "Men's Interest" magazines have women in skimpy clothing, the "Women's Interest" would have MEN with no shirts and such??? My fiancee came across a girl in his class who had a playboy magazine... is something wrong with the picture or what?
Anyways, this is one of the most powerful posts ever and I can so much appreciate it because I stopped wearing tons of makeup a few months ago, thanks to my fiancee who loves me au naturale! :)
Reading your blog reminded me of my 'Women in the Media' class I took in college. What you're missing though is that if there were no men left in the world, women would still take time to make themselves look nice. I like it when my female coworkers compliment me on my outfit or hair. Women read those magazines with the tips on how to please men not because they want to control men, but because they're insecure and they want validation. They want to be loved. Why do you think girls always say to their boyfriend, "tell me you love me. tell me I'm beautiful"?
BJ, that was awesome. I think I will give this to my husband to read, he will love it. We have similar conversations. Preach this wherever you go! Many, mand women to be set free, and men for that matter, too. Blessings!
Really, I wish more men were strong enough to WALK BY such magazines, let alone such women in the world. I don't mean this about you - I do appreciate the whole philosophical attitude that you came up with upon passing the ungodly publications. I mean this about men, in general, who may chuckle at the half nude photo of a woman, perhaps even comment how indecent this is to their sinificant other, and then sneak peeks at exaclty such magazines, or worse yet, internet porn.
Yes, I wish there were stronger men in the world. I lost the one I thought was strong and have not seen another.
